I addressed this briefly in my last post, but I wanted to take the time to reflect on the past month and a half of my life. As the title suggests, yes I was unemployed. And yes, it most definitely did suck.

Let me just tackle a few facts before we really get into it. I had a lot of people telling me to keep my chin up, that it would definitely get better, and that eventually I would get a job. While yes, I did eventually land a job, I had to absolutely grind to get to that point. I think that's the underrated aspect that most people don't really think about. Everyone is so focused on the aspect of losing a job, and how that must affect the mental health. But really, I don't think that's what really mad me feel worse about the whole situation. The fact was, I was laid off due to the times itself, it had nothing to do with anything that I. could have done differently. So people coming up to me and telling me that it wasn't my fault that this happened just seemed fairly tacit. 

The big reason why I was affected by being laid off was because I would have to go through the toils and struggles of recruiting all over again. I was frustrated and angry. A part of me couldn't believe that life had really decided to screw me over once again. It's easy when you're in this scenario to feel like a victim, to blame circumstances on your misfortune and retreat into yourself. A big part of me just wanted to leave everything behind and give myself the time to rest and recuperate from the trauma.  I wanted to do that, but I also had to be logical. If this scenario ever happens to you just take a couple of days, or maybe even a week, to recover from the situation. Yes it does suck, and you're allowed to feel bad about it. But after that, you need to bring every grit and determination you possibly posses into the game. That's what I had to do. You have to get back up, dust yourself off, and start the recruiting grind. Fix up your resume, and start practicing whatever skills are necessary.

That's exactly what I had to do. Although I complained about it every single chance I got, and I most definitely went through a few mental breakdowns, eventually I just grit my teeth and got to work. And eventually, it led to me getting a job. Had I taken longer than a week to recover from the trauma, I'm not sure if I would've been as successful during the recruiting season. 

So now I'm sitting here, finally getting the time to relax and enjoy myself to my heart's content. Once 'the fat lady sings' you can finally give yourself the break that you definitely deserve.

What am I going to do during this break you might be asking? Depending on when I start my new job, I think that I'm going to first spend a few necessary weeks relaxing with my family, after which I will try to travel for a little bit. Then it's time to fully immerse myself into the culture of my new job and get straight to work.

I want to leave you all with one final thought on this subject. If life really is like an oscillating wave, in which each of the highs are succeeded by a low, should I really be spending my time during the high dreading the low that's to come? That doesn't seem very healthy at all. If the low is indeed inevitable, which all comes from perspective mind you, I think it's my sworn duty to spend my time at the top completely enjoying it. I think I should spend this perfect period of my life relaxing and enjoying it to the absolute fullest. Indeed, in a very meta way, me writing this blog post is actually my way of coming to terms with this period of my life. And I intend to enjoy every single moment.

And lastly, for those of you who may be In the midst of their own lows, remember that the high Is just around the corner. It seemed so difficult for me to believe that when life sucked a month ago, but if it can work out for me then it can definitely work out for you. Keep your chin up ;)​

They say that your 20s is the time in your life to be testing things out and going out of your comfort zone. Now that always sounds well and fine usually, but I'm starting to realize that parts of that are just a big sham. What does does it mean to go out of your comfort zone? For me, that definition connects with spending some time traveling with no set schedule or plan in mind. It means completely leaving my comfortable surroundings, and steeping myself in the uncomfortable. It means sleepless nights, chilly nights, all in the search of a greater meaning for myself.

That all comes from the romanticized portion of my mind. Then the logical part steps in and squashes the dream like an ant under a boot. I can't do any of those things right away. There's the slight issue of my job search that I need to be focused on. As much as I want to just drop everything, the potential ramifications are too great for me to even consider it.

So what's left for me to focus on during this period? How can I really test things out, discover myself, and go out of my comfort zone. Well that's the difficult thing. As much as I try to find individuality during this period, more and more it seems like circumstances want me to just fit into the standard flow of society. What do you do after you graduate college? You start working. What do you do after your finish working? You die.

Now contrary to the anger that spurred me when I first started writing this post, I don't actually plan to spend most of this time venting. I was left with the question of how do I find individuality and, in the most grand of terms, myself. Especially with how my options seemed mostly limited, I was left fairly frustrated. But I think I've started to figure out a bit more about how that's supposed to happen. Yes, at this moment my only plan should be to start working, and get into that grind. But that doesn't mean that's all there is to life. I can figure out some time to plan that trip if that's what my heart really desires, either before I start working, or when I can take a vacation. It's very much possible. Additionally, just because I start working doesn't mean that everything else that could possibly be done in life is gone. Because, that's the fun thing about work, which is completely different from college and from recruiting. When I'm done with work for the day or the week, I am actually completely done. There's no need to keep working in the evenings or the weekend. I can spend that time doing what I love. And I guess that is an important question to address. What is it that I love? Well I like writing blog posts, as well as working on my countless stories. Apart from that, I like dancing. I've really been trying to improve my dancing recently. I can attend dance lessons more and more frequently.

So regardless of the fact that many of us in our 20s might feel that we're shoehorned into typical roles, it's our job to take the time that we're not working to make the most of. Instead of just sitting there on your phone binging meaningless videos, take that time to read that damn book that you keep saying you'll eventually get to. Make that delicious recipe you saved for a day when you "would have the time". There's no such thing as having the time, at the end of the day you make the time for the activities that you want to do. 

So hopefully this blog post is ending on a much more positive thought than it started. Yes, like everyone else in this chaotic world, I am also human. I am prone to frustrations and anger just like everyone else. But after you clear through those emotions, it's all about looking at things more rationally. If you can do that, I promise things won't look so hopeless. Hang in there everyone.

​- A